


you're smiling in love (and we'll sigh so relieved)

by prongsno



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: ???????///////////////////, Cliche, F/M, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Kissing Lessons, Marauders, Marauders' Era, if it can even be called that lol
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-11
Updated: 2017-12-11
Packaged: 2019-02-13 08:40:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,042
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12980316
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/prongsno/pseuds/prongsno
Summary: based off an anon promptJames gives Lily a class on kissing, but feelings always get in the way.





	you're smiling in love (and we'll sigh so relieved)

**Author's Note:**

> this probably has a dozen mistakes in it, seeing as it's 02:21 am, but i've been writing this monster for about eight months and i honestly feel so bad for all you guys who've been waiting for this - so here you go! hope you enjoy <3

James Potter stands with his back leaning against the wall. Muddy feet in a tangle, leaving dirty footprints over the floor. He draws out a shaky breath. **  
**

“Are you sure?” he asks, his voice unsteady. He gives Lily Evans a worried glance and scratches his head. “I mean, don’t you girls have fantasies about first kisses and all?”

He looks like a dream with his windswept hair, rosy cheeks and soaked Quidditch robes clinging to his mud splattered skin. Her heart stops, but only for the briefest of moments.

She wants to say that he is her fantasy. That he is all she ever thinks about… but the words slip by and evaporate when their eyes meet. His gleaming hazel eyes shine, making her body shiver.

She should be screaming in hysterics, going crazy. Her crush, James Freaking Potter, is right here in front of her. And he's about to kiss her.

Yes, there’s the thunderous beat of her heart slapping against her chest when those damned eyes of his look at her; but she’s far too realistic to think that crushes ever end in ‘Happily Ever After’.

“I’m sure,” she says, the slick and smooth tone of her voice surprising her. She clears her throat, giving him what she hopes is a reassuring smile.

She’s doing this to get over him, once and for all.

“It’s just kissing, right?”

“Right,” he mirrors her smile, shadows her laughter. And then he leans in, she does too, and he plops the softest of kisses on her lips.

He pulls back in an instant, it’s a second long if that.

“There,” he says, suddenly interested in the cobbled stonework of the floor, “congratulations. You’ve had your first kiss.”

There are butterflies everywhere and she knows she’s playing with fire when their eyes meet again.

She feels the pull of a smirk. “That’s it?”

He only shakes his head, a small smile tangled between his sweet lips. Then he steps forward once more, brushes a hand against her cheek and pulls her softly towards him.

Her eyes flutter shut and when their lips meet for the second time it’s like she’s been consumed.

This time it’s louder than fireworks, more addictive than butterbeer, hotter than fire.

He wraps an arm around her waist and her hands are in his hair, grasping at the curls that she’s desperately been wanting to play with since she got this stupid crush.

He’s gentle and an earthquake all at once.

* * *

Mary blows a bubble in her chewing gum, letting it pop and set against her lips before she pulls the gum with her tongue. Then she blows it again, all the while staring hard at Lily.

“Let me get this straight,” the girl says, resting her hands against her unopened Witch Weekly. “Potter kissed you, for educational purposes?”

Lily sighs. “I was panicking about Chadwell and James, well, wanted to help.”

“By snogging you senseless?”

“I wanted to know what I was getting myself into.”

“That's very unlike you, Lily.” Mary frowns as she flicks open her magazine. “Especially Chadwell, he's an obnoxious mop-bucket.”

“I needed a Non-Potter Distraction. Being friends with him is,” she scowls and scratches her head, “tiring, to say the least.”

“Witch Weekly warns you to stay away from arses like Chadwell y’know.”

Mary taps the cover of her acclaimed magazine with her pinky, pointing at the floating section on the top left side that reads ‘HOW TO KNOW HE’S NOT THE RIGHT WIZARD FOR YOU’.

Lily stabs at a yorkshire pudding with her fork. “I'm only going on a date, not getting married.”

The conversation comes to an abrupt stop when Sirius Black slams his Advanced Potions Making textbook onto the table, looking like he’s still half asleep, and James sits next to her all bleary eyed.

She tries to ignore the way her heart does a somersault.

His hair is ridiculous, all up at the ends like he’s got an animal living in it. It looks soft though, so soft that all she wants to do is just reach out and grab it.

Just like she did then.

He catches her gaze, a red tinge colouring his cheeks and ears before he begins to pour pumpkin juice all over his plate of chicken and vegetables.

There’s a few seconds of silence between them all and James stares down in dismay at what he’s just done.

“Alright, Potter?” Mary asks with an innocent smirk. “Something on your mind?”

“Just worried about our next game, MacDonald. That’s all,” he says and with a lazy flick of his wand the pumpkin and chicken slush disappears.

He starts with his dinner preparation again, this time reaching for some quiche. The plate is right by Lily and he stretches out his arm, brushing against her. Seconds freeze like icicles and she hitches her breath; he doesn’t react.

He’s silent as she shivers and freezes up next to him, there’s not even a response when Mary accidentally spills tea over herself and pushes Lily accidentally into him.

Sirius Black, amidst the chaos of Lily apologising to James and Mary going “Oops, my hand slipped!”, reaches across the table and grabs at Mary’s magazine before she can stop him.

“My my, MacDonald!” he chastises with a cheeky wink, “I never took you for a ‘top ten ways to make wand movements easier’ kind of person.”

A cough from behind them stops Mary from shooting a bat bogey hex at Sirius.

Anthony Chadwell, clad in his Hufflepuff robes, runs a hand through his blonde hair. Suddenly there’s a hyacinth flower in Lily’s face and Chadwell gives them all a sleazy smirk.

Lily blushes, Mary actually chokes on her tea this time, Sirius raises an eyebrow and James is rigid next to her.

“Yo, babe. Are we still okay for Hogsmeade, yeah?” he winks.

“Um, yeah sure. What-”

“Sweet! Laters,” Chadwell grins, finger guns and swaggers off to join his friends at the Hufflepuff table. As soon as he’s out of view Lily throws the flower onto the table.

“I think I’m going to call you babe and Hyacinth from now on.” Mary grins. “Do you think the git even knows your name?”

“He did The Finger Guns,” Sirius shakes his head, laughing. “I wouldn’t count on it.”

* * *

She waits until breakfast is almost over, when the Quidditch teams have already left for the pitch, before she finally makes her way to the hall. She doesn’t have the energy to see him right now, that and she doesn’t trust herself not to lunge and kiss him.

“Slept through your alarm did you, Lily?” Peter asks with a sad, understanding smile. He’s already pouring her a glass of pumpkin juice. “James and Dorcas have just gone.”

“Oh, what a shame,” she says, ignoring the knowing looks from the remainder of the group. She plops down next to Mary. “So, did I miss anything important?”

Sirius shrugs, stretching his arms as he lets out a massive yawn. His hand brushes against Mary’s shoulder and they both jump a little.

“Err what did you miss?” he says, cheeks a fiery red as he taps his chin, words spurting out. “James had a mini breakdown, in front of the whole team. Dorcas looked like bloody murder.”

“I think he was hoping a certain someone might’ve been here to cheer him on.” Remus says nonchalantly, glancing up at her with a sly grin as he flicks through The Daily Prophet.

“He was rather jittery.” Mary hums in agreement. “But he's always like that before every match, and more times than not we win.”

There’s a ruckus at the Ravenclaw table when an unsuspecting sixth year gets a howler off their Grandma, the hall turns quiet as the words ‘I CAN’T FIND MY FALSE TEETH’ echo around the walls.

Sirius picks at his toast and gulps down the last of his drink. “He's Minnie’s prized Quidditch Captain after all, I bet she's been praying for a nutter like him since the fifties.”

She doesn’t want to see him in his Quidditch robes.

That scene still flutters throughout her head; the way the robes had clung to his skin, damp and sticky from the practice that Dorcas penned ‘Potter’s Torture Time’.

She’s counting every step that she takes, laughing absently at Sirius’s thirteenth joke of the day as they make their way up to the stands. Seats are filling up quickly and they find a place near the back of the Gryffindor stands, in front of a couple of first years that have ‘JP’ painted red on their flushed cheeks.

“I need the loo,” Lily says immediately. She feels dizzy and hot, the constant reminder of James everywhere is driving her mad and she needs to recollect herself.

Mary checks her watch. “The match starts in fifteen minutes.”

Sirius, who’s sat next to Mary, leans across her and rests his elbow on her shoulder. She seems to squirm a little, cheeks slightly red but Sirius doesn’t seem to notice.

“You don’t want to miss the beginning,” he winks, “or any of it.”

“I won’t be long,” Lily gives them all a wave and sets off down the stairs. The air is freezing, and she tightens the scarf around her neck as she rubs her hands together.

Someone, who sounds suspiciously like Remus Lupin, starts a ‘POTTER! POTTER!’ chant, and the rest of the Gryffindor stands shout it out in chaos.

The last person she’s expecting to see underneath the stands is James Potter, and yet there he is. Shivering in the November cold, he jiggles anxiously on the soles of his feet. He does a double take when he sees her, a hand automatically rising to his hair to mess with it.

“Lily!” he looks surprised, and a bit bashful as well. “What are you doing here?”

She can’t exactly say, ‘I needed to get away from all reminders of you up in stands,’ when he’s right there in front of her. Instead she just shrugs, claiming she needed a bit of air.

James nods, teeth chattering as he glances up at the red and gold stand. They’re still chanting ‘POTTER!’ and he seems to wince every time he hears it.

“Nervous?”

“Not at all,” he croaks. “This is just a work out.”

“It’s okay to be a little anxious,” Lily grins. “I can’t even imagine the pressure you must feel. But, honestly - James, you’re gonna nail it.”

He takes in a deep breath and nods his head. “Thanks.”

Reggie McLaren, a fourth year Ravenclaw commentator, booms his voice across the stadium, welcoming everyone to the first exciting match of the season.

“I guess I should go, you’ve got a game to win.”

She gives him a little wave, not really knowing what to do, before she turns around, ready to set off.

“Not going to wish me luck, Evans?”

She turns around, and that’s when it hits her; how deep the feelings for him have buried into her. It’s like he’s in her blood, she can’t get rid of this feeling and it’s a painful banging in her head.

Something (perhaps it’s the Gryffindor impulse or just sheer nerves of being around him again) ignites inside of her and she has no control anymore. She sweeps forward with this new-found courage and stands on her tiptoes.

“Good luck, James Potter.” she smiles, and kisses him softly on the cheek. “Break a leg, but not literally.”

They’re so close to each other, she can see the faint scar on his cheek that he got in second year. She gulps, and he looks completely mesmerised.

“Thanks, Lily.”

He’s everything - and she’s head over heels in love.

She doesn’t know who initiates it, only God knows, but somehow his hands goes around her waist and her hands wrap around his neck. She stares deep into his eyes and the screaming stadiums around them quieten in the moment.

It’s just the two of them, somewhere far away.

They kiss underneath the stands, a short and sweet embrace that leaves her desperately wanting more. But as soon as they part she feels sick.

After denying it for so long, it’s such a relief to finally accept it. All she wants, all she needs is James Potter.

* * *

“Alright Evans? You’ve been staring into that drink for the past ten minutes.”

His voice gives her goosebumps.

There’s an excited, jittery and sickly feeling that bubbles up in her gut, memories flashing through her mind as she swallows hard. Then she looks up at him.

He’s shining, still delighted and thriving off the Gryffindor win.

Of course they won. Fran Kirby caught the snitch only twenty minutes into the game, but in that time James and the others had managed to score an impressive amount of goals.

Basically, Gryffindor slaughtered Hufflepuff- and Chadwell seemed livid.

Lily drops her eyes back down into her drink. Her heart’s thumping, as it always does when James is near her.

He’s still wearing his quidditch robes and still looks exhilarated from the win, dazzling and windswept like he’s just emerged from one of Celestina Warbeck’s love songs.

She blinks. “Have I congratulated you yet?”

“On our amazing, fantastic win?” he laughs, folding his arms as he leans against the wall next to her. “I don’t think so, no.”

“Congratulations. You guys killed it out there. Like I said you would.”

He makes her nervous, like sweaty-hands nervous, and she uses her free hand to wipe her palm on her thigh, trying not to be too obvious.

James doesn’t notice at all; he gives her the biggest smile and grabs hold of a sugar quill. “We were pretty badass, but not as good as Manchester United I bet.”

“No team is as good as United, but you guys are a close second.”

She’s astounded that he remembers her favourite football team, a fuzzy and endearing feeling flutters in her gut and she wants to just fly.

James chuckles and rests his head back against the wall. His smile is soft, and his voice quietens. “I mean it though - I couldn’t have done it without you,”

It feels like she’s on cloud nine, and she just wants to grab hold of him and kiss him.

“Don’t be daft,” she says with a roll of her eyes and a grin, “of course you could have.” Her heart is beating a million times a second, but she tries to be as aloof as possible.

“I’m serious!” he says and, at that moment, as if he has super hearing, Sirius looks up from across the room. He’s playing exploding snap with Remus, Peter, Dorcas and Mary - but quickly goes back to the game when he realises he’s not being called.

James grins and puts a hand on her shoulder. His fingers are perfect, not sticky hot and not freezing - just right. He looks deep into her eyes and she’s afraid of falling into them.

“You’re a good friend, Lil.”

The word doesn’t sound right on his lips.

She jolts somewhat, and he looks a bit confused himself.

Only now does he pull his hand back from her, as if he’s just realised what he’s done. Something in the air has definitely changed, and Lily instantly hates it - whatever it is.

“Right,” she says and clears her throat. “Well, what are friends for, huh?”

“Exactly,” he smiles once more, but it’s not as wide as it was just moments before. He puffs out his cheeks, checks his watch and then looks back at her again.

She should say something. All it takes is a couple of words, a deep breath and a little bit of determination. Even if he doesn’t feel the same way, at least she wouldn’t have to live with the painful guilt she’s feeling.

She’s ready to say it - to just say he’s an absolute idiot and she’s in love with him (or something along those lines, whatever manages to come out of her mouth). She parts her lips, his name hanging onto her tongue when Remus calls to him.

The rest of the marauders have their winter cloaks on and Sirius has hold of James’s.

“Ready to see Hagrid?”

James nods and peels himself away from the wall.

“Yeah sure.”

Sirius throws him the cloak, which he catches with ease. He’s pulling the cloak around his shoulders when he turns back to her, uncertainty set deep in his eyes.

He bites his lip. “So, I guess I’ll - uh - see you around?”

She doesn’t get to answer him, Remus is already pulling him out of the common room.

* * *

Anthony Chadwell is three minutes and twenty seven seconds late.

Mary scowls as she checks her watch for the fourth time. “He said half past?” she asks with a click of her tongue.

Lily nods, straining her neck a little at the queue of students passing by.

“You go on ahead, he’ll be here soon. I can wait.”

Mary shakes her head, “I’m not leaving you alone, you wally. You’re not even wearing a coat.”

Lily lets out a small hum, rubbing her hands against her arms almost instinctively. It wasn’t this cold ten minutes ago.

“The boys are over there,” she points to the group of four, who are kicking around an empty bottle as they wait in the queue.

James is rubbish, which is funny considering how good he is at quidditch. Sirius kicks it like a proper midfielder and James, missing the bottle by an inch, watches as it tumbles towards where she and Mary stand. Lily sucks in a breath when he rakes his eyes, a little hesitantly, over her.

“You lovely ladies joining us?” Sirius jogs over to pick up the bottle and gives them both a goofy, cute grin.

“I’m going with Chadwell,” Lily tries to give him her brightest smile, knowing full well that James is standing only a few inches away. She has a twisted, funny feeling in her gut and she claims it on jittery nerves.

Sirius shrugs, eyes turning to Mary now. “MacDonald, are you going to grace us with your presence?”

Mary rolls her eyes, despite a little blush colouring her cheeks.

She threads her arm through Lily’s and lets out a small chuckle. “I’m meeting Dorcas in Gladrags. Probably won’t have time to run into you dorks.”

“Hogsmeade is a small place, you never know.” Sirius looks smug as he puts his hands in his pockets, noticing with a smirk how the blush on Mary’s cheeks deepens by the second.

She’s muttering “ass,” under her breath when Peter clears his throat.

“Are we going or what? I’m freezing my arse off here.”

Lily taps Mary’s shoulder. “Go with them, honestly. I’m sure he’ll be here in a sec.”

Mary looks a little reluctant, but when Sirius grabs hold of her arm and pulls her away gently she doesn’t fight against him.

“You sure?”

Lily only nods, stretching her mouth into the biggest smile she can manage, waving as they start to depart down the road.

James rakes a hand through his hair and glances back towards her. He looks guilty, staring at her like he’s got something he desperately wants to say, but he doesn’t stop.

She’s relieved and disappointed at the same time.

He nods his head slightly towards her and then the cute, light smile is back on his lips.

* * *

It’s like Anthony Chadwell and James Potter are polar opposites of each other.

James is boisterous and giddy. He can make her smile and gasp for air with his crazy jokes and remarks. Anthony is sweet, yes, but his smile doesn’t make her tingle and she doesn’t want to daydream about him for hours.

She tells herself it’s because she doesn't know him well. But, when he suggests they go to Zonkos without even asking if there’s a place she wants to visit first, it’s starting to slowly sink in that something’s not quite right.

The joke shop, as always, is filled to the brim with students and she follows slowly behind as her date stomps through the crowds. He stops by a shelf near the back of the cramped shop and Lily has to stop a few aisles away.

“Showed up then, did he?”

Just his voice alone brings a shiver up her spine and she turns around, trying not to smile. But damn, just seeing him there makes her want to break out into a song and dance.

“Yeah, he did.”

James smiles, fiddling with a box of sugar quills that’s under his left arm. “Were you waiting long for him?”

“No.”  _Yes_.

It was another ten minutes before he finally came running towards her, panting and claiming he’d forgotten about the time they were supposed to meet (but she’s not about to reveal that to the guy who’s currently making her heart ache in a painful manner).

He’s standing right by the dungbombs, and that’s definitely not by coincidence.

“I hope you’re not planning on using those in Hogwarts,” she grins, pointing to the boxes that are stacked high. He gasps.

“Me? Use dungbombs? Never!” he says, giving her a wink as his hand reaches out to grab a box.

He’s just about to open his mouth when they hear Anthony laugh somewhere behind them. That causes the both of them to stir.

Chadwell is standing not ten feet away, arms resting, rather comfortably on the waist of a sixth year Ravenclaw girl who’s giggling at something he just said.

James scowls and raises his eyebrows in disbelief. “Aren’t you -”

She shrugs.

It’s stifling, the air is hot and sticky and it’s making her a little woozy. “We’re not exactly boyfriend and girlfriend.”

“But you’re his date.” James swears under his breath and shakes his head. “Merlin, Evans. I bet if the tables were turned he wouldn’t be happy with you flirting, so why the hell should he be getting away with it?”

“Maybe they’re just friends?” she’s whispering, even though James is stood so close to her that her shoulder brushes against his chest.

It’s rather ironic that James is getting more offended than she is. Should she be angry at Chadwell? She doesn’t feel anything for him, there’s no jealousy or bitterness - just the painful longing of the friend who’s by her side.

She can hear him swallow, she can count every deep breath he takes, even though the store is crowded and there’s an orchestra of sound in her ears.

“Like the way we're friends?”

All that matters in that moment is the way James looks at her.

And it’s almost as if they’re back at the common room, hidden away under the cover of night. He does the jaw thing (she doesn’t even know what ‘the jaw thing’ is, but she know it drives her crazy every single time) and Lily feels her fingers already itching to grab hold of him.

It’s like they’re back underneath the stands, just the two of them caught in the moment.

A student barges past them, hands full with two boxes of nose biting teacups, knocking Lily almost fully off her feet. Her legs stumble forward and she collides into James’ unsuspecting arms. His hand is instantly on her waist, holding her upright.

“Steady on,” he grins.

His stupid smile is contagious and utterly heart wrenching. She feels stupid for blushing under his intense gaze, she blinks and then the moment’s gone.

James stops their contact and he bites at his bottom lip, glowering as Chadwell lunges towards them.

“Babe,” he says and nods towards them, either not noticing or not caring to mention about the beetroot colour her cheeks are. “You ready?”

Lily clears her throat and quickly grabs onto the box of dungbombs James was admiring before. “Yes, just came here to get dungbombs. Very important.”

“Cool. Later, Plotter.”

She’s turning around, disliking the warm hand that Chadwell places on her shoulder when she hears James clear his throat.

“It's Potter,”

* * *

He doesn’t kiss like James.

There are no fireworks and she can’t see the stars in his eyes. He kisses like a limp fish more than anything, although there’s the faint hint of peppermint on his lips.

Anthony sighs as he presses a kiss against her lips once more, hands edging closer and closer to the small of her back. She instantly pulls them away, making sure he understands.

“Why don’t you just relax a little,” he murmurs in her ear.

All she can see is him. Him with his hurricane hair and cheesy smile, glasses wonky on his nose.

He’s far from perfect, but that’s what makes him so incomparable.

Sorry is almost out of her lips but she bites down on the word. What the hell is she sorry for? Nothing.

Anthony pulls away, his forehead creased.

“Listen, babe,” he itches his nose and pulls his hands into his coat pockets, “you’re really hot and all, but I just don’t think you and I… mesh well.”

He’s leaning against the wall, shoulders pulled into a careless shrug — like he didn’t just coax her into the empty cul de sac for a snog five minutes prior.

Lily blinks.

“If you ever want to have something...  _casual_  though, just send me an owl.” Chadwell gives her a wink.

There’s a few seconds of silence as Lily rolls around what’s just happened in her head.

“I’d rather french kiss a skunk, shave off my eyebrows and obliviate myself than be anywhere near the likes of you. You can expect an owl from me if I want to throw away my dignity and lose all of my self respect.”

She’s bubbling with anger and in the heat of the moment can’t help but slap his cheek whilst she’s at it.

He’s frozen in shock, his cheek a stinging red from her palm. He looks shocked.

“I’d probably be in St. Mungos too. I deserve to be treated far better than that.”

* * *

Sirius finds her in Scrivenshaft’s, hunched over the countless aisles of special quills.

“Evans!” he says happily. He doesn’t seem surprised, but, then again, Sirius always has that bright smile on his face. “Where’s your date?”

She picks up a quill, twirling it in her fingers before she has the energy to look up. “Um, he’s gone.”

“Gone? Like, to another shop?”

“Like, left. Gone. Told me that if I ever wanted a casual shag then I should owl him.”

She decides it’s better to leave out her sudden outburst.

“Yikes.” Sirius rubs the back of his neck, purses his lips and then glances over at her again. “Err, Mary’s in Tomes and Scrolls… do you want me to get her for you?”

“No. Yes. I mean, nah.” Lily shakes her head. She makes a grab for the nearest box of quills, not even glancing at the label. “I’m fine. Do you want a box of dungbombs?”

He looks at her dubiously and cocks his head slightly to the side. “Is that a trick question?”

She shakes her head, takes the box from her bag and thrusts it into his hands.

“Happy Christmas,”

“It’s April, Evans.”

“Then Happy Belated Birthday?”

He laughs, but takes the box from her anyways.

“My birthday’s in November,” he says with a grin. Nevertheless, Sirius stares at the box with wide, gleaming eyes.

“I know, there was that party in the common room, remember?”

It was slightly far fetched to call it such a thing - they had just played exploding snap and Mary had bribed the house elves to get a birthday cake topped with firewhiskey icing. They all sang happy birthday and Peter cried.

Lily clears her throat and takes out her purse.

“Anyways. I’m just gonna buy these and head back up to Hogwarts,” she says as she stumbles over a stool and scurries towards the till.

“You sure?”

She pays her galleon, grabs hold of her new box of quills and then gives him a smile. “Totally sure. Thanks Sirius.”

She’s a bad liar, but he doesn’t call her bluff.

He waits till she's out of view before he clucks his tongue and checks his watch. He takes a deep breath and taps his chin before he realises that he’s already made up his mind. He’s already marching over towards the bookshop.

Dorcas is giggling at a book in one of the shop corners and Sirius finds Mary surrounded by spell books, biting her lip and reading in full concentration as she practices a wand movement.

She looks up in surprise and he has to suck in a breath.

Mary is actually quite cute.

* * *

The heat of the Gryffindor common room is an immediate relief to her freezing bones and Lily sighs, feeling at ease for the first time that day.

She’s aching from the cold and inches towards the fire.

James looks up in an instant from his spot on the sofa and she stops dead in her tracks. He must notice her apprehension because he bites on his lip and bolts up from the seat.

“Lily!” his face is illuminated in the fire, flames dancing on his cheeks and burning in his eyes. The hearth crackles, soaking in the tense silence that falls between them before he’s swallowing heavily.

“Good date?”

She wants to laugh at the bitter irony. This is unbelievable and utterly ridiculous.

She’s still holding onto her box of quills, still not even looked to see which ones she grabbed in her blind state of panic.

“Alright, I guess.”

She doesn’t move an inch, not even when he takes an awkward step towards her. He’s wearing bright yellow quidditch socks, dozens of mini snitches flying around all over his feet.

“You guess? Not Prince Charming like you were hoping, huh?”

She allows herself to smile. “I never said Prince Charming, he’s actually far from it.”

James shrugs. “If I recall,” he says, taking another small step closer towards her, “you said he was fit and that you didn’t know what to do.”

“He is fit, but that doesn’t stop him from being a giant arsehole.”

He blinks. “Oh, bugger. Sorry - I didn’t realise that -”

“It’s okay.”

The portrait opens and a group of third years with fanged frisbees, chuckling and acting suspicious, make a beeline to the dormitories.

Lily plops her box onto the seat closest to her, resting on the armrest. James flexes a hand.

“Is it? You were really… excited. I mean,” he drops his voice down to a whisper, even though they’re alone now, “you wanted to… you know, practice.”

“You’re the one who offered,” she folds her arms against her chest and taps her foot against the sofa.

“Well, yeah,” he shrugs. “You said you didn’t want to mess it up with Chadwell.”

Lily jumps back up, sighing. “We’re just going round in circles now. I’m going up to my room.” She makes for a grab of her quills.

“Was it the kissing?”

Her fingers stop inches away and she curls them around her fist tight. Sliding a cool gaze over to him, he looks uncomfortable.

“Yes. And no,” she makes it sound like it’s obvious, throwing in a casual shrug whilst she’s at it. “Emmeline Vance was very insistent about your, ahh, consummate skills.”

James makes a noise that sounds like a strangled cat and a fog horn at the same time. He’s loosening his tie, messing up his hair as he clears his throat.

“Can I let you in on a little secret, Evans?” There’s a sheepish smile. Uh-oh, she thinks.

“Hit me,”

He takes a deep breath and scratches the back of his neck a little awkwardly. “I, err, that was a dare.”

“What was?”

“Kissing Vance. It was a stupid and dumb Seven Minutes in Heaven Dare by Frank Longbottom in fourth year. It wasn’t even seven minutes, more like a pathetic fifty seconds.”

“Oh.” Lily blinks.

James gives her a look, it’s rather odd; one that gives her goosebumps.

He cracks his fingers and shrugs. Words drip out of his mouth like melted ice cream on a summer’s day. “It wasn’t even heaven, it was in a bloody broom closet and was extremely uncomfortable.”

“I see.”

He looks like he’s in agony.

“So what I mean is, like, well - that I’ve only ever kissed her,” he sucks in a deep breath, staring intently at the wall. “And well, you.”

“And yet you thought you had the right qualifications to give me kissing lessons?”

“I didn’t exactly say I had relevant experience, I was just there at the right time and moment to lend a helping hand.”

“Vance wasn’t wrong though,”

James lifts his head. “Pardon?”

“About the kissing. You are bloody good at it.”

* * *

Anthony Chadwell is sent to the hospital wing the next morning, sprouting purple warts that explode into the words ‘I’m a Jerk’ whenever someone gets within four inches of him.

“I heard he was sobbing.” Peter snickers, almost choking on his orange juice as he recounts his story at the Gryffindor table.

“I had nothing to do with it,” James says, putting his hands up quickly in defense. “Although I wish on Merlin’s beard that I had.”

Remus clears his throat. “It’s nothing Madam Pomfrey won’t be able to handle. I’m sure Hufflepuff will play extra hard with Slytherin at the next match.”

Sirius sips at his tea and Mary grabs a piece of toast, stuffing it into her mouth. Lily decides it’s better if she doesn’t know, at least for now.

“What does your Witch Weekly say today, MacDonald?” Sirius quickly changes the subject, picking up his own slice of toast. “Any words of wisdom?”

Mary opens the magazine up to a random page. “Says The Bloody Banshees are the new HobGoblins.”

Sirius lets out a gasp, “That’s a right load of codswallop. The sheer nerve!”

True to Remus’ word, a few hours later when Gryffindor and Hufflepuff share Transfiguration together, Anthony Chadwell comes into class purple wart free.

Mary catches Lily’s gaze and winks as McGonagall directs him to his seat.

“I hope this will not affect the match tomorrow, Mr Chadwell.” The professor, chalk gripped in her hand, tries to smile as politely as she can at the Hufflepuff’s Keeper.

Chadwell scoffs, blasé and as smug as ever. “I’m ready to kick some Slytherin ass.”

The Gryffindor Head of House rolls her eyes, but turns back to the board and continues the class.

“Have you spoken to James yet?” Mary murmurs as the class scribble down the board notes.

“About what?”

“That you fancy the socks off him? That you want to snog him into next year?”

Lily rolls her eyes. “Have you and Sirius confessed?”

Mary freezes. “What?”

“About Chadwell? You guys were so obvious during breakfast.”

“Oh.” Mary coughs and messes with her hair. “It turns out he was a jerk to quite a lot of girls yesterday, so for all he knows it could have been any one of them,” she bites her lip, nudging her friend’s shoulder softly. “Sorry. I know you really wanted it to work out - ”

“Only so I wasn’t thinking about James,” Lily shrugs. “I guess I should've faced just faced him instead of running away.”

“You could just - I don't know - tell him?”

“I told him he was ‘bloody good’ at kissing.”

Mary has to slap a hand against her mouth to stop a shriek from escaping. She giggles and sneaks a quick glance at James and Sirius’s table, neither of them are paying attention to the lesson.

“You didn’t.”

Lily winces. “Unfortunately I did. Then I legged it before I could embarrass myself further.”

“But why? That could have been the moment where he confesses his undying love for you after he chases you down a moonlit garden!”

“Firstly, this isn’t Hollywood. And secondly he would have been chasing me up the girls stairs, then it would have turned into a slide and he would have fallen down on his arse-”

“Now that would have been hilarious.”

* * *

She manages to avoid him only for a few days, although Mary says ducking underneath a tapestry and hiding behind bookshelves doesn’t really count as ‘avoiding’ (neither does running into the library or stuffing one’s face with three eclairs apparently).

It’s the day before the Hufflepuff against Slytherin match when she runs into him. 

He’s balancing four books in his hands and he’s got his wand balanced against his left ear.

As soon as he sees her his eyes widen and he pauses. He’s on the stairs and a student huffs as they barge past him, tutting at his immediate stop.

For some reason she can’t move, her feet are frozen (maybe because the castle’s so cold, it’s snowing outside and the corridors feel like ice caves - or maybe because part of her feels sorry for him).

“I’ve been, err, meaning to talk to you,” he says, grasping tight to his books as he meets her on the step. “I just wanted to say that I’m sorry.”

Her heart skips a beat. “What have you got to be sorry for?”

He’s still fiddling with his books, they’re giant, bulky Potions textbooks that look like they weigh a tonne. He shuffles a bit on his feet. “Look, I haven’t been completely honest with you.”

Of all the possible places to have this kind of discussion, it would be slap bang in the middle of the stairs whilst students are barging past them left, right and centre.

Lily squirms, dread filling her up. “Okay?”

“When I said you were a good friend, I lied.” His voice is croaky but determined, his eyes are stuck on hers and she’s too entranced to move at all. She feels dizzy.

“No, wait - that came out wrong.” James swears and closes his eyes briefly. “I mean, I love - I love having you as a friend. Lily you’re, well, amazing -  to be perfectly frank.”

She has no idea what to say, so thank you is all that trembles out of her mouth.

“That day,” he continues with a shaky breath, “when you said didn’t know how it would work out with Chadwell because you had never kissed anyone before…”

A group of first years run past, smacking into James’ side as they whizz down the stairs. His body jerks forwards and she instantly reaches towards him, slapping a hand on his chest to stop him from toppling over.

“Little buggers,” he glares as the group race around the corner.

“Maybe this isn’t the place to do this -” she squirms under his gaze, nervous and rather unsure about what he’s going to say. She drops her hand like he’s hot coal.

“No wait, please. I need to say this.” he clears his throat and taps his thumb against the side of the books. “I really like you. And I thought it would be okay to help you, like doing it as a favour to a mate or something. But, I realise now it was a stupid mistake because I - I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you,”

A moment of silence passes between them; Lily is stunned and James watches her closely, trying to read her expression. After a few more seconds he bends down and places the books down by his feet and pulls his hands together, wringing at his fingers nervously.

“You liked Chadwell and I didn’t want to jeopardise anything that was going on between you but,” he takes a small step closer to her, if that’s even possible. They’re balancing awkwardly on the step, facing each other nose to nose. He looks vulnerable, unsure and completely afraid as to what she’s going to say.

“But,” he says again and itches his nose. “I needed to come out and say it. I keep telling myself we’re friends and that I shouldn’t - can’t - say it but you’re the person I care most about in this world and -”

She doesn’t let him finish, she’s heard enough by now.

She stands on her tiptoes, and pulls at his shoulders before she silences him with a kiss.

It’s not like the others.

The kiss in the common room is a euphoric start, waves and waterfalls crashing down.

The kiss under the stands is an impulse, a nagging thought at the back of her head that wouldn’t let her rest until she had done its bidding.

But this one.

This one fills her up completely.

Lily feels alive and it’s James Potter who’s standing there in front of her, with his hands hugging her waist and lips kissing her again and again and again.

She can feel his heart racing, the flutter of his hands as he pulls her even closer. 

There are students still barging past them, but they don’t care in the slightest.

He sighs against her lips, smiling softly. “You really had me a mumbling mess back there,”

Lily grins. “I wanted to make sure I wasn’t dreaming this up.”

“We’re both terrible at this, aren’t we?”

“The absolute worst. But at least we’re not Sirius and Mary.”

James grins and it’s infectious. They’re kissing again, smiling in love and grasping hold of each other tight. It feels like the moment is never going to end, that they’ll stay in that second completely free from everything else in the world.

Someone clears their throat and another person else lets out a laugh.

“Mr Potter, Miss Evans.” Professor McGonagall is standing there, trying to look stern as she attempts to conceal a smile.

Sirius and Mary are standing beside her, snorting with laughter. The two are holding hands and find the situation absolutely hilarious.

There’s a group of students around them, it seems that the two of them were taking up more space on the stairs than they anticipated.

“Detention in my office tomorrow night, for causing a disruption on the stair-well.” The professor calls out as she continues up the stairs, and then she turns around briefly in the last second and gives them both a wink. “Oh, and congratulations.”

James can’t help it, he swoops down and kisses Lily again. This time cheers and cat calls follow, and students move past them once again.

“You two are absolute morons,” Sirius grins. “Took you bloody long enough.”


End file.
